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Cosmic Shrapnel, Air Conditioning

from Fool Season by Jacob Nico

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lyrics

The person that tried to love you
Was doomed to grow in bodily lie
The way that I live is killing me
But why does it have to kill me quite so slowly?

I can’t wait

Told an ex I’m not a man anymore
They said “wait, what? I didn’t think you were one before”
“You are you, you are a goo and that’s all anyone can ask”
“We’re all just trying to figure this out in the last building burning”
But I don’t understand
Why I’m so ashamed of my body
No I don’t understand
Why I’m so deeply ashamed

I just want to know
What the hell my problem is

Vessels fold and I have received so much empathy
I hope that one day I will feel I have deserved
Shadows bloom and I have received so much empathy
I hope that one day I will feel I can return

I drift into shallow psychosis listening to the air conditioning unit
Taken by the soft hum of the fan as I sit waiting in the clinic
I look at the chair and try to discern patterns, try to ground myself
But I look too deep and fall straight through the floor
And you talk and all the while cosmic shrapnel comes out your mouth
And you talk and all the while I become dumb
And you talk and all the while cosmic shrapnel comes out your mouth
And you talk and all the while my brain goes numb

credits

from Fool Season, released August 28, 2020

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Jacob Nico Cambridge, UK

All in time

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